i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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