Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
