it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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