3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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