omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
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its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
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I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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