No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Tornado booty call.. dedication
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
