Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
