Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
