just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
