they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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