Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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