my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i think my cat just said my name.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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