You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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