you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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