Fine. I'll sleep in my office
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
