So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
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my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.