Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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