Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize