Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
