Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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