carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
