i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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