Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he was CRYING into my vagina
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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