Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So much rum. So many feels.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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