I want to make a zoo with you.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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