She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
