I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
