Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
