Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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