Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
