your room smells of hookers.
And success
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Randomize
