ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
