forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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