His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
