a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
