Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
