i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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