i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
