the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize