He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
