Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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