remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
