wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
