i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
