Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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