Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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