Do you still have your period?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
