I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize