So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He passed out mid-signature
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
