I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
