as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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