hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
