So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
