I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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