Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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