At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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