I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
