that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
