so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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