Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
either way he was missing a nipple.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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