Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
