Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
