so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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